Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
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