he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Randomize
