How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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