last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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