He kissed a someone with a penis
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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