WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
