Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Randomize
