How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
