So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
