I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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