I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
