Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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