sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize
