I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Randomize
