dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
