I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
These tits shall not be calmed
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
