oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
