yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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