carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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