Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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