I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You pole danced in your parka.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
