you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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