If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
her facebook's as public as her vagina
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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