69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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