I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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