Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Buhtt sex?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Randomize
