the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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