Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
