This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
