That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
