Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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