love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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