I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
