He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
