you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
