You're so nebulous sometimes
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
