So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
