I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i drank out of a bidet.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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