Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
