worst night to have a conscience
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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