I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
