You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
