NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
