I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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