i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
