Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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