I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
