before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize
