69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
