I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
