I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
